Tough Love
March 02, 2008
Rev. Susan Gilbert Zencka
Frame Memorial Presbyterian Church
Texts: Leviticus 19:1-2, 9-18, Matthew 5:21-24, 27-30, 38-48
Two boys were talking about their weekend, and one described an event at his church. The other boy replied, “I don’t know anything about that – I belong to a different abomination.”
This is what many people think about the teachings of much of the Old Testament, particularly the purity codes in Leviticus: that it is just one abomination after another.
But today’s reading makes it clear that God was always about something more substantive and positive than abominations – God has always been about love. In our culture, we turn love into something either sentimental or romantic, instead of the force that brought worlds into being, that is behind all the human hungers, and that is the most radical, life and world-changing force in history. When God talks about love, it’s not for a Hallmark card. And in Jesus Christ, we see love lived out in One whose stance is anti-empire and in solidarity with humanity.
A few years ago, Tyler and I were driving home in some pretty violent weather. I have always loved thunderstorms, but we were both pretty nervous. And suddenly, right in front of us, a bolt of lightening came from above us on the right side of the car to strike the ground on the left side of the car. I had never seen a lightening bolt so close – perhaps 25 feet ahead of us. It was one of the most frightening, most powerful, and most beautiful things I have ever seen – I still remember it. It was a pulsing, pure white, potent rope of light. And it gave me a new image for God’s love – as that beautiful, powerful, pure light. Quite different than the romantic or sentimental view of love we often have.
Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, also gives us a different view of love – as he challenges us with new ways to behave, many of us respond by thinking that it’s too hard. But over the years as I have studied and reflected upon these verses, I have come to understand that Jesus very much means for us to take them seriously…and to do so, we need to understand them.
In these verses, Jesus is giving us some very powerful information. He is giving us empowering teaching, not impossible teaching. He is giving us tools to give us control over our own behavior, and to not be victimized by others. That is totally opposite from the way some people interpret this passage , in which they understand Jesus to be condemning us for our feelings, threatening us, and then telling us to be passive recipients of aggression. It turns out that he is doing nothing of the sort.
And central to understanding these teachings is to understand that the Sermon on the Mount is NOT just a collection of random teachings – it is a series of vignettes that all illustrate central principles. When we understand the central teachings, all the lessons that seemed to make no sense, turn out to make plenty of sense. The central principle is this: we have choices, we are not subject to the whims of our anger, our lust, or other people. What God wants for us is not to learn all the rules and follow them, but to be changed from the inside out through God’s love – to be transformed. Our inner self must and can be changed. We have choices.
The teachings I have pulled out here are three teachings – one on anger, one on sin, and one on violence. In all of these he is describing an Old Testament teaching, and updating it, which reminds us that the Bible is dynamic – God’s word is always progressive. God is always pulling people to a new level of humanity.
First, Jesus talks about murder, and says, "You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, "You fool,' you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”
There are many words in the Bible for anger – the word in this passage decribes an anger that is like a smoldering coal, which can flare up into fire easily. This is an anger that is nurtured, dwelled upon and held onto, so that at the least stimulus, it flames up. Jesus isn’t telling us that any angry feelings are evil – he is telling us that when we choose to hold onto our anger and nurture it, we create susceptibility in ourselves to expressed anger. We may not have choices about our feelings, but we always have choices about our actions and words. So when we choose to hold onto angry feelings and dwell on them, creating a smoldering anger within ourselves, then we must take responsibility for what ensues. Instead of holding onto anger – we are called to seek reconciliation. Notice, by the way, that Jesus does NOT say, “If you remember that you have something against your brother or sister…” He says, “If you remember that your brother or sister has something against you….” We are called to take responsibility for the anger we have caused. So in this first paragraph, we learn that we are not to nurture anger, and we are to take the initiative to seek reconciliation when someone is angry with us.
In the second passage, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.”
This was one of the teachings I always had a lot of trouble with – pluck out your eye? Cut off your hand? This does not seem like a realistic teaching at all! But in fact, it is totally realistic – let’s take a closer look. Jesus says, “IF your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out….” And “IF your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off….” Our first problem with this passage is likely to the sin language – we don’t like talking about sin. But we need to be honest about this – we sin. We do things that block our relationship with God, and we do things that block our relationships with other people. Just because the religious conservatives and fundamentalists use the word doesn’t mean it’s not real. Sin is real. We sin. But here’s the key to this passage: your eye and your hand never cause you to sin. It’s your heart that causes you to sin – and this overall passage is about God’s desire to give us a new heart. God’s favorite working material is the human heart. People struggle a lot with prayer – we ask whether prayer really changes things, and wonder how God answers prayer. I can’t answer all the questions, but I do know this – when we open a heart to God, God is willing, even eager, to reshape the heart and fill it with love. I can’t answer how all prayer works – but in any prayer where we truly open ourselves to God with a willingness to be changed, God will reshape and fill our hearts, and thus will change our experience. For example, in the last paragraph we read today, Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” If we truly are able to pray for our enemies – for those people who cause us trouble or pain – and I don’t mean praying that they will see the light and like us; I mean to sincerely pray for their welfare – when we do this, God will make space in our hearts for them, which will change our experience of them, and change the relationship. The changes may not be big – after all, if someone else is mean to us, or opposed to us, our prayers may not cause them to change – but it will ultimately cause us to change, as we hold them before God in prayer.
What if we can’t pray for them? Then just take them to God in prayer, and ask God to let you share in God’s prayer for them. And perhaps you will get a sense of the divine hope for them. But even opening your heart to God, in willingness that your heart will be changed, creates space for God to work. It’s an attitude of openness, of trust, of humility…and this creates opportunity for real change.
Finally, the last passage is one of my favorites – this one used to look impossible, too. Remember, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Walter Wink, in his book, The Powers that Be, provides fascinating cultural information for this section. Jesus is definitely preaching a gospel of non-violence, but he is not preaching a gospel of passive victimhood – in the teachings of Jesus, we are not victims: we are men and women of God. In the culture at the time, one only would have used one’s right hand to strike another. The left hand was used for personal cleansing after toileting (as in many cultures) and so was not to be used for eating, or shaking hands, or even striking someone. Further, to strike someone with the back of the hand was a demeaning act, establishing a higher status. But to strike someone with the open palm was an act of equality. So, if one strikes you on the right cheek, says Jesus…
This means that the hitter is establishing himself as superior to you – to hit someone with the right hand onto the right cheek would entail using the back of the hand, as one would to someone who was inferior to them. If the victim then presented the left cheek, the aggressor would be forced to strike with an open palm, establishing equality. So this teaching of Jesus, far from being passive, is an active non-violent act of assertion which forces the other person to either acknowledge your equality, or to back down from hitting. The other examples in the paragraph are similar – a soldier had the right to force someone to carry packages for a mile and only a mile, but if you then continued another mile, you would be reestablishing yourself, not as a victim, but as someone who freely gave the gift (and thus created a debt to you). All of these use non-violence as a way to challenge abusive relationships and put the onus back on the other person, while affirming the personhood and inherent dignity of the victim. As Walter Wink writes, “The new reality Jesus proclaimed was nonviolent. That much is clear, not just from the Sermon on the Mount, but from his entire life and teaching and, above all, the way he faced his death at the hands of the Powers. His was not merely a tactical or pragmatic nonviolence seized upon because nothing else would have worked against the Roman Empire’s virtual monopoly on power. Rather, he saw nonviolence as a direct expression of the nature of God and of the new reality breaking into the world from God.” Like the pure power and beauty of the lightening bolt, the love that Jesus advocates is a love that has the power to change us. And as we open our own hearts to this love, we are indeed changed. As Dallas Willard writes, “Again, if I have been freed from anger, contempt, and obsessive desire and am pervaded by the love that is the family resemblance of those alive in the kingdom of the Father, I am freed from the need to secure myself by reputation or wealth.”
We are freed from those concerns, because as I discussed last week, the reality of God is overwhelmingly that God is present and loves us. When we trust God, and allow ourselves to be open to God’s love, along with our hearts being reshaped, along with being able to let go of anger, along with being able to assert ourselves as persons rather than victims, we are filled with the love of God, and this love redefines us in a primal way as children of God, beloved of God, whose essential value is in being loved and living out of the overflow of that love. Thus, cultural concerns such as status or revenge, and secondary appetites such as anger or lust all diminish in importance, because our most central desire, the desire for love and for God, is being filled.
We are created for God, and it is that love that makes us whole. Karl Barth said, “the message of the Bible is that God hates religion.” Jürgen Moltmann said that “Jesus didn’t come to give us a new religion; he came to give us life.” Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, was not imposing impossible demands on us; he was offering to remake us from the inside out, to give us our lives.
In prayer, as we open our hearts to God, his love becomes our life, and we become energized and made whole by his love. May we make time to be so nourished and transformed by God. Amen.
Frame Memorial Presbyterian Church
Texts: Leviticus 19:1-2, 9-18, Matthew 5:21-24, 27-30, 38-48
Two boys were talking about their weekend, and one described an event at his church. The other boy replied, “I don’t know anything about that – I belong to a different abomination.”
This is what many people think about the teachings of much of the Old Testament, particularly the purity codes in Leviticus: that it is just one abomination after another.
But today’s reading makes it clear that God was always about something more substantive and positive than abominations – God has always been about love. In our culture, we turn love into something either sentimental or romantic, instead of the force that brought worlds into being, that is behind all the human hungers, and that is the most radical, life and world-changing force in history. When God talks about love, it’s not for a Hallmark card. And in Jesus Christ, we see love lived out in One whose stance is anti-empire and in solidarity with humanity.
A few years ago, Tyler and I were driving home in some pretty violent weather. I have always loved thunderstorms, but we were both pretty nervous. And suddenly, right in front of us, a bolt of lightening came from above us on the right side of the car to strike the ground on the left side of the car. I had never seen a lightening bolt so close – perhaps 25 feet ahead of us. It was one of the most frightening, most powerful, and most beautiful things I have ever seen – I still remember it. It was a pulsing, pure white, potent rope of light. And it gave me a new image for God’s love – as that beautiful, powerful, pure light. Quite different than the romantic or sentimental view of love we often have.
Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, also gives us a different view of love – as he challenges us with new ways to behave, many of us respond by thinking that it’s too hard. But over the years as I have studied and reflected upon these verses, I have come to understand that Jesus very much means for us to take them seriously…and to do so, we need to understand them.
In these verses, Jesus is giving us some very powerful information. He is giving us empowering teaching, not impossible teaching. He is giving us tools to give us control over our own behavior, and to not be victimized by others. That is totally opposite from the way some people interpret this passage , in which they understand Jesus to be condemning us for our feelings, threatening us, and then telling us to be passive recipients of aggression. It turns out that he is doing nothing of the sort.
And central to understanding these teachings is to understand that the Sermon on the Mount is NOT just a collection of random teachings – it is a series of vignettes that all illustrate central principles. When we understand the central teachings, all the lessons that seemed to make no sense, turn out to make plenty of sense. The central principle is this: we have choices, we are not subject to the whims of our anger, our lust, or other people. What God wants for us is not to learn all the rules and follow them, but to be changed from the inside out through God’s love – to be transformed. Our inner self must and can be changed. We have choices.
The teachings I have pulled out here are three teachings – one on anger, one on sin, and one on violence. In all of these he is describing an Old Testament teaching, and updating it, which reminds us that the Bible is dynamic – God’s word is always progressive. God is always pulling people to a new level of humanity.
First, Jesus talks about murder, and says, "You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, "You shall not murder'; and "whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, "You fool,' you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”
There are many words in the Bible for anger – the word in this passage decribes an anger that is like a smoldering coal, which can flare up into fire easily. This is an anger that is nurtured, dwelled upon and held onto, so that at the least stimulus, it flames up. Jesus isn’t telling us that any angry feelings are evil – he is telling us that when we choose to hold onto our anger and nurture it, we create susceptibility in ourselves to expressed anger. We may not have choices about our feelings, but we always have choices about our actions and words. So when we choose to hold onto angry feelings and dwell on them, creating a smoldering anger within ourselves, then we must take responsibility for what ensues. Instead of holding onto anger – we are called to seek reconciliation. Notice, by the way, that Jesus does NOT say, “If you remember that you have something against your brother or sister…” He says, “If you remember that your brother or sister has something against you….” We are called to take responsibility for the anger we have caused. So in this first paragraph, we learn that we are not to nurture anger, and we are to take the initiative to seek reconciliation when someone is angry with us.
In the second passage, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.”
This was one of the teachings I always had a lot of trouble with – pluck out your eye? Cut off your hand? This does not seem like a realistic teaching at all! But in fact, it is totally realistic – let’s take a closer look. Jesus says, “IF your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out….” And “IF your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off….” Our first problem with this passage is likely to the sin language – we don’t like talking about sin. But we need to be honest about this – we sin. We do things that block our relationship with God, and we do things that block our relationships with other people. Just because the religious conservatives and fundamentalists use the word doesn’t mean it’s not real. Sin is real. We sin. But here’s the key to this passage: your eye and your hand never cause you to sin. It’s your heart that causes you to sin – and this overall passage is about God’s desire to give us a new heart. God’s favorite working material is the human heart. People struggle a lot with prayer – we ask whether prayer really changes things, and wonder how God answers prayer. I can’t answer all the questions, but I do know this – when we open a heart to God, God is willing, even eager, to reshape the heart and fill it with love. I can’t answer how all prayer works – but in any prayer where we truly open ourselves to God with a willingness to be changed, God will reshape and fill our hearts, and thus will change our experience. For example, in the last paragraph we read today, Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” If we truly are able to pray for our enemies – for those people who cause us trouble or pain – and I don’t mean praying that they will see the light and like us; I mean to sincerely pray for their welfare – when we do this, God will make space in our hearts for them, which will change our experience of them, and change the relationship. The changes may not be big – after all, if someone else is mean to us, or opposed to us, our prayers may not cause them to change – but it will ultimately cause us to change, as we hold them before God in prayer.
What if we can’t pray for them? Then just take them to God in prayer, and ask God to let you share in God’s prayer for them. And perhaps you will get a sense of the divine hope for them. But even opening your heart to God, in willingness that your heart will be changed, creates space for God to work. It’s an attitude of openness, of trust, of humility…and this creates opportunity for real change.
Finally, the last passage is one of my favorites – this one used to look impossible, too. Remember, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Walter Wink, in his book, The Powers that Be, provides fascinating cultural information for this section. Jesus is definitely preaching a gospel of non-violence, but he is not preaching a gospel of passive victimhood – in the teachings of Jesus, we are not victims: we are men and women of God. In the culture at the time, one only would have used one’s right hand to strike another. The left hand was used for personal cleansing after toileting (as in many cultures) and so was not to be used for eating, or shaking hands, or even striking someone. Further, to strike someone with the back of the hand was a demeaning act, establishing a higher status. But to strike someone with the open palm was an act of equality. So, if one strikes you on the right cheek, says Jesus…
This means that the hitter is establishing himself as superior to you – to hit someone with the right hand onto the right cheek would entail using the back of the hand, as one would to someone who was inferior to them. If the victim then presented the left cheek, the aggressor would be forced to strike with an open palm, establishing equality. So this teaching of Jesus, far from being passive, is an active non-violent act of assertion which forces the other person to either acknowledge your equality, or to back down from hitting. The other examples in the paragraph are similar – a soldier had the right to force someone to carry packages for a mile and only a mile, but if you then continued another mile, you would be reestablishing yourself, not as a victim, but as someone who freely gave the gift (and thus created a debt to you). All of these use non-violence as a way to challenge abusive relationships and put the onus back on the other person, while affirming the personhood and inherent dignity of the victim. As Walter Wink writes, “The new reality Jesus proclaimed was nonviolent. That much is clear, not just from the Sermon on the Mount, but from his entire life and teaching and, above all, the way he faced his death at the hands of the Powers. His was not merely a tactical or pragmatic nonviolence seized upon because nothing else would have worked against the Roman Empire’s virtual monopoly on power. Rather, he saw nonviolence as a direct expression of the nature of God and of the new reality breaking into the world from God.” Like the pure power and beauty of the lightening bolt, the love that Jesus advocates is a love that has the power to change us. And as we open our own hearts to this love, we are indeed changed. As Dallas Willard writes, “Again, if I have been freed from anger, contempt, and obsessive desire and am pervaded by the love that is the family resemblance of those alive in the kingdom of the Father, I am freed from the need to secure myself by reputation or wealth.”
We are freed from those concerns, because as I discussed last week, the reality of God is overwhelmingly that God is present and loves us. When we trust God, and allow ourselves to be open to God’s love, along with our hearts being reshaped, along with being able to let go of anger, along with being able to assert ourselves as persons rather than victims, we are filled with the love of God, and this love redefines us in a primal way as children of God, beloved of God, whose essential value is in being loved and living out of the overflow of that love. Thus, cultural concerns such as status or revenge, and secondary appetites such as anger or lust all diminish in importance, because our most central desire, the desire for love and for God, is being filled.
We are created for God, and it is that love that makes us whole. Karl Barth said, “the message of the Bible is that God hates religion.” Jürgen Moltmann said that “Jesus didn’t come to give us a new religion; he came to give us life.” Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, was not imposing impossible demands on us; he was offering to remake us from the inside out, to give us our lives.
In prayer, as we open our hearts to God, his love becomes our life, and we become energized and made whole by his love. May we make time to be so nourished and transformed by God. Amen.